The Transition

Even though I have not got to post as much as I would like, I still have been jotting thoughts and experiences down in my journal. I hope to share them soon when I can find more time to blog! Today's post is from a few notes I wrote in my journal back in July on the last night of our family vacation in Florida.

With the holidays just around the corner, it has reminded me again of the transition that happens as a 'bride to be'. Society often overwhelms newly engaged women with 'Congratulations!' and "When is the Big Day?" There is an expectation that your engagement is supposed to be the 'happiest' time of your life.

Any feeling less than euphoric, sends many brides into a state of anxiety and confusion. However, the engagement period is one of the most significant psychological transitions in a woman's life. This transition is more complex than simply taking a new last name but involves many stages and emotions that prepare us to take the next step in becoming a wife. Brides often ignore these feelings and instead distract themselves with wedding planning and frivolous details.

This will be my last Christmas as a single woman. In July, I really embraced the fear and feeling of loss during our family vacation. For all of you lovely brides who may have had similar feelings or your entire engagement process has not been blissful but have ranged from a variety of emotions, this vulnerable excerpt from my journal is for you. May you embrace your emotions and the transition into the next stage of our life in becoming a wife.

"Tonight is a bitter sweet evening. Tonight is the last night of our annual family vacation only this year is the last year that it will just be my family. The next time we go on vacation I will no longer just be a daughter but I will also be a wife.


I have tried to soak in every moment this week. Tonight at dinner I took it all in, the smiles and the laughs and just being a daughter and sister. As I write in my journal, tears stroll down my face. Tears of sadness and tears of joy, maybe even tears of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of change.

I sit tonight with the voice of the ocean and feel overwhelming love. Love of family, love of God, and love for a man that I can’t wait to spend my life with.


This week I felt like a child again and life felt simple. Days on the beach with my family are a memory I will always cherish and remember. I woke up to both my parents already awake and getting the beach gear ready for the day. The blue cooler filled with soda and water, plastic baggies filled with nutter butters, the bright beach chairs, ugly towels and sunscreen. I take off my beautiful diamond ring and place it on my night stand in a small pocket in my pink makeup bag. After putting on my swimsuit and sunscreen everyone is ready to go. My brother politely carries my chair, my sister grabs hers and we are off to the beach.

As we sit on the beach, my dad lounging underneath the umbrella, my mom reading her book, and my brother and sister both on towels laying in the sand, I am reminded of this great week, the last week of family vacation as a single woman. Without the diamond on my left hand as a reminder, without a mirror to see my adult reflection, I feel as if I could be any little girl sitting next to her dad, not the 28 year old woman that has lived on her own for over a decade, earned a prestigious degree, runs a successful business and is about to start a family of her own.


Tonight is bitter sweet as I close a chapter and begin a new one. I am so grateful for the love of my parents and the love of my family. The nights we have shared laughing and spending time together are memories I should not be sad for but be hopeful that I can continue that love in the building of my own family. It is the goal of not leaving a family, but building a larger one that embraces the same love and friendship.


My heart knows that things will be different and I feel this is the main cause of my tears, again both of joy and of sadness. My heart almost feels a loss. A loss of what used to be, but the joy and hope that is in the next phase brings a surprising peace.


I leave this chapter with a letter to my family on my last night as just a daughter and a sister:


Dear Mom, Dad, Chandler and Cassidy,


Thank you for all the love and the memories as a family. Tonight is the last family vacation we will have just as the five of us. I can say that my heart is sad and tears have ended this day. Tonight as vacation ends, I feel as sense of loss as I will no longer be just a daughter or just a sister on the next vacation but I will also be a wife. The laughter and smiles and friendship we have shared I will value forever. I hope to think that our team of five is not ending but only that our future holds more team members and more love. I stopped tonight to embrace this moment and am overwhelmed by the gratitude and love I have for each of you. As we come to our last vacation as five I want each of you to know I love you and I am so proud to be a part of our family, as your daughter and your sister and your friend.


Love Always, Chelsey

The Wedding Cake

I have been so busy I have not got to blog hardly anything that has been happening!  I promise to start adding some details off all the planning over the next few weeks!

I first want to share a sneak peak of our wedding cake! Wedding cake design as become an art form. The wedding cake is a focal point of the wedding and often sets the style for the entire event. With so many options and having seen such a variety of cakes, this has been one of my biggest challenges!
As a wedding planner, I consider myself a 'wedding cake snob'. Yes, I said it! I am a cake snob!

It is my job and responsibility to taste the cake at every wedding. Most of the time that entails, tasting the Bride's cake and the Groom's cake! I mean, we have to know if it tastes good right?! I know it is a hard job, but someone has to do it!

Because of all the cake tasting, I am pretty picky when it comes to cake. Luckily, I work with the best and already knew at least one of the flavors for our wedding cake. It is called "Princess" cake and is hands down my favorite cake.

For the past few years, I have always preferred the "Princess" cake with Delicious Cake's signature cream cheese and butter cream icing mixed. My mouth starts watering just typing the words! This delicious duo is not too sweet and just sweet enough to make the perfect icing. I didn't think it could get any better than this until last year one my brides wanted to add a lemon flavor to her cake. Delicious Cakes added a touch of lemon mouse to the already perfected "Princess" cake and ooh la la! My new favorite cake! I can't wait to enjoy our yummy cake on the wedding day! Until then, its protein and greens!

Butch and Ruthie Stivers, owners of Delicious Cakes, have been wonderful friends and business colleagues for many years. I would say almost 90% of our brides choose them because they are truly the best! Butch is extremely talented. He brought me a few ideas and I loved them! The cake he put together is exactly what I had envisioned, except it is even better! I am truly honored that Butch has named the cake in honor of me. After the wedding, our gorgeous cake will be featured at the Dallas Bridal Show, with the name "Chelsey" for other brides to admire or use as their own wedding cake! Stay tuned for the big reveal!

Cake tasting! As you can see we ate most of the Cake!

Butch working hard to design our beautiful cake!

The UPS Guy

I think the UPS guy thinks I like him.

I have ordered quite a few things for the wedding online and each time one arrives I get so excited! I think the UPS guy has taken this excitement as a personal gesture toward him. I think he may even believe I keep ordering things just so he can show up to my door! I may have to break the news to him if he asks me for my phone number!  

The good news is I have received so many amazing purchases. Here are just a few fabulous things I have ordered for the wedding!  Cant wait to show them off soon!

Faux Fur Wrap 

Minnesota Vikings Hat 

Mr. and Mrs. Forks 

Napkins and Cookie Bags 

Wedding Shoes 

Mini Glass Trifle Set

Wedding Memory Book

The Registry

I was browsing The Knot and came across an article that asked 'What is your Registry Style?" Asking this question before Clayton and I registered would probably have been more productive but I was intrigued by the article and wanted to explore.

I would say my "registry style" is classic and traditional. I like things to be simple, clean and elegant. I have always thought that white dishes are to your kitchen what the little black dress is to your closet. You can use them everyday and for all entertaining purposes. Add a splash of color with a napkin, linen or salad plate and presto! an entirely new tablescape! Clayton and I love our essential white place settings from Crate and Barrel and cant wait to use them!

Polyvore is a super cool website that allows you to make your own collages. Here is a look at our wedding registry collage:

Planning a wedding is a challenge, but the registry, well that is what I call fun! I think registering is probably the only reason that I would ever plan a second wedding! Registry is like a drug. It is slightly addictive. Crate and Barrel seduced me on their website and forced me to spend hours in front of my computer finding the perfect serving dish and learning how to have the most exquisite holiday mantle. Crate and Barrel is a genius.

Clayton and I enjoyed our day of registering at Crate and Barrell and Bed Bath and Beyond. We chose items we knew we would use and love in starting our new home together. It was a great day of picturing our life as a married couple!

I must admit I did get a little too excited during the registry process and had to be reigned in. I was overwhelmed by all the items to entertain with and the angels were singing! When I began registering for items that we would need for our child's 5th birthday party, Clayton took away the scan gun! Here are a few photos from our day of registry!

My Bridezilla Moment

I thought that I might be able to avoid having a "bridezilla" moment but unfortunately, even as a seasoned wedding planner I am not immune.

For those of you who do not know the term 'bridezilla', here is the definition according to Wikipedia:

A bridezilla (a neologistic portmanteau of bride and Godzilla) is a difficult, unpleasant, perfectionist bride.

Webster goes into a littel more detail:

Horrific, bulging-eyed bride prone to screaming spells and spontaneous fits of hysterical rage. Bridezillas are known to drop blows over seating charts, get bug-eyed at the mere mention of carnations and view hurling champagne at their wedding planners as a form of hazing.


And you can't help but enjoy this description from Bridezilla.com

Exceptionally attractive, confident women who know what they want and can’t be bothered to sugar coat because they are obviously on 100 calorie- a- day microbiotic diets and can’t even sneak a pack of Splenda if their life depends on it. Bridezillas are both blessed and cursed with a higher vision of perfection than most mediocre, David’s Bridal wearing, Gerber daisy carrying mortals and have no choice but to impart this vision exactly to the masses. It is this motive that drives them to demand nothing less than excellence from their staff-err, wedding party.

In college I was an art minor with a focus on graphic design. I decided pretty quickly that I was too much of a perfectionist to be a good graphic designer. To make any money, you have to get projects out quickly and that seemed impossible for me. I would spend hours trying to find the perfect font or the exact matching color. These skills of perfection do come in handy as a wedding planner but as a bride but it has also been a curse.

I was searching for the perfect script font to use on my wedding invitations and came across Bickham Script. While researching this font to see how it looked in different sizes and letters I stumbled upon Burguess Script. I fell in love with this font immediately and knew this was the one. The flourishes are breathtaking and I could loose myself for hours admiring the playful yet elegant swoops and swirls.

After spending hours and hours searching for a download for Burguess Script, I called upon one of my bridesmaids, who is also a wedding planner, and enlisted the help of her mother in law who is the queen of fonts. I met my bridesmaid at her mother in law's home and she began a search through her catalog of many fonts and online. We had no luck in finding a free download and only a few websites offered you the font at the price of $100. Yes, for only one hundred dollars this beautiful font can be yours. After a relentless search, I felt defeated and extremely frustrated.

I wanted this font. I needed this font. I had to have this font! (Hello Bridezilla!)

My bridesmaid, and fellow wedding planner, could feel the disdain and see the ever haunting 'horns' creeping upon my head.  She pulled me aside and said, "Chelsey if you had a bride that was stressing this much over a silly font what would you do?" I reluctantly laughed as I told her that I would tell my bride to relax, that we would find something else that she loved and to not fret over this simple thing. She responded with, "Yes. Exactly. Let's move on."

I went home and was still upset about the font. I did not want to spend $100 of our already tight budget on a typeface. It seemed ridiculous and unnecessary.  However, after countless hours of searching and hundreds of fonts later, I finally just broke down and bought it. I absolutely love the font and when I saw it printed on our Save the Dates, I had no buyers remorse. They were perfect and exactly what I wanted.

After my 'bridezilla' moment I ran across a quiz "Are you a Bridezilla?" on WE TV. I decided to take the quiz out of humor and here is my assessment:

Well you've almost got a spot on team Bridezilla... but not quite. You're sort of like the water girl - you're supporting the team and you're learning a lot.

Clayton may disagree, but as of now, I am not on team Bridezilla!

It's Personalized

The wedding is just around the corner and traditionally Save the Date cards are mailed out about six months prior to the wedding. Logically it should have been something I skipped because of the short timeframe and for budget saving reasons however, as a bride, I wasnt thinking logically.

I finally got them completed last week! I have always had a passion for great fonts and calligraphy. I truly enjoyed seeing my friends and family's names in the beautiful script font I picked out specifically for our wedding stationary. (There is a humorous story on this particular font but that will be another post!) Although they were simple, I loved them so much and it was hard to put them in the mail!

I enlisted Clayton to help me stuff the envelopes and in return each Save the Date has a "personal" touch. I gave Clayton the stack of Save the Date cards and the matching envelopes. I had two cards, an Accommodation card with a list of hotels and the Save the Date with the our wedding information.

I explained to him that the larger card went on the bottom with the smaller card on top. I showed him how to put them in the envelope facing up so that when guests receive them, the writing is facing up and they can easily pull out the cards and read them.

Clayton reluctantly agreed to assist me but he took the cards and began putting them in the envelopes. As he handed me a completed stack so that I could seal them, I noticed that they were all the wrong direction. I showed him again the correct way to insert the cards. As I watched him place each card in the envelope, he was still doing it wrong. I tried to correct him but he quickly showed me the problem and and gave me his excuse for continuing to do it his way. Clayton is left handed.

When I realized the problem, we both had a good laugh as he insisted that now they all have a personal touch even though they are all facing the wrong direction! So for those of you who respect etiquette, please excuse our improperly stuffed Save the Date cards, for everyone else, we hope you can appreciate the "personalization".

A special thank you to Barb at The Station House for helping me print these last minute. I originally had planned to do something else but I was running out of time and had to compromise on a more cost efficient option!

It's Game Time

Last night I decided I was going to sit down and decide on my ceremony music. I am having one of the best string quartets playing at the wedding and I am so grateful they are available! The only CD player I had access to was the one in the kitchen - Clayton was playing video games in the living room and refused to listen to 'Canon n D' while on his 'black opps mission.'

I pulled a chair from the dining room table and placed it in the middle of kitchen. I put in my CD and had the list of songs on a piece of paper so I could mark down my favorites. The first song is "Canon n D". My first thought is how beautiful this song is. It is one of my favorites and I am considering walking down the aisle to it. The second thought is the feeling I get every Saturday when this song begins. Traditionally this song is played for the bridal party entrance so when it starts its kinda of like my "game day" song. I am a sports fan so I relate it to "the" song that every team has that is "their" song right before they run out on the field or court. I love the feeling when I start sending the bridal party down the aisle. It is like the day is finally coming together and is starting. "It's game time!"

The next song is the "Bridal Chorus". This invokes the image from the movie the 'Wedding Planner' right before the bride walks down the aisle and every Saturday that I get the privilege to lead a bride down her aisle. Although I love the moment when I start the bridal party down, my favorite moment is when the Bridal Chorus begins to play and I bring the bride to the doors. It is a beautiful, quite and peaceful moment. The doors open and the bride and her father take their first step down the aisle. I lift the back of her gown and watch as the air catches it ever so lightly until it falls perfectly in place and glides down the aisle behind her. Followed by a deep breath, the hard part is done and the ceremony, the reason we are here, has begun.

I am sitting in my chair in the kitchen looking quite awkward and I catch a glance of Clayton staring at me, humorously smiling at my contentness as I listen and sway to the music remembering so many memories as each song plays and envisioning my own walk down the aisle.    

I may have to find a song that I don't have previous feelings toward but I also love the idea of having songs that are so familiar and with fond memories from many brides that have walked before me. I will keep you posted on what I decide!

Marriage Tool Belt: Compromise

Marriage Tool Belt: Compromise

Ring shopping started with a fight but ended with a compromise. Because of the fight we allowed ourselves to dig deeper into our relationship and discussed what we each wanted not only out of our marriage but out of our lives as a family in general.

Fighting is never fun, but when it ends in learning more about your relationship and making a compromise with each other, that leads to growth and even makes the fight worth it. Our ring shopping experience was not what either of us expected, but we did learn a lesson. It brought us closer together and we made a compromise that works for both us which I know will be a great tool in our marriage tool belt.

Marriage Tool Belt

As a wedding planner I have learned that planning a wedding is truly preparation for marriage. Couples have to make decisions about budgets, style, priorities, and it can lead to a fight or it can lead to learning more about each other. During the planning process, bride's and groom's put together what I like to call a 'marriage tool belt' - things they learn during wedding planning that are 'tools' for their marriage.

Over the course of our planning, Clayton and I are building our own 'marriage tool belt'. I will be posting the 'tools' we have been learning over the next few months. Hopefully they will be reminders for me and other brides preparing for marriage that there is more to this 'madness' than just the shade of pink or type of flowers for the centerpiece!

Sharing the News

I had breakfast with my mom, sister, and grandmother a few days after the proposal. It was fun to show them the ring for the first time and tell them about the proposal. My mom teared up a bit and it was an emotional experience. It was a great moment of three generations of women celebrating!

Clayton and I wanted to tell my other grandmother in person that we got engaged so we planned a trip to the big town of Bowie, Texas. On the way, we stopped in Decatur and joined my parents at church and then lunch at Sweetie Pies on the Courthouse Square with my parents, brother and cousin Jared. It was the first time my Dad and brother had seen the ring and the first meal we had as an engaged couple with the family. I think this is always an interesting moment for brides. I think everyone knows a change is happening and there is happiness and sadness all in one emotion.

We got to my grandmother's house and it was so much fun sharing the news with her. She welcomed Clayton to the family and was so excited for us. She told us the story of her wedding day and all the things that went wrong. It was one of the biggest floods in Ft Worth and she barely made it to the church because of the rain! She wanted to call it off because of the weather but her mom said no! She told us that marriage was the best thing that happened to her and it was an amazing blessing. Hearing the story of her wedding day gone wrong but with a marriage that lasted over 50 years until my grandad passed away last year, was a great reminder of what a wedding day really is. A day of two lives joining to become husband and wife and the start a journey of life and love together. A reminder that in my world of extravagant cakes, luxurious linens, and over the top menus, it all ends with a marriage and that is what truly matters.

On the way home, we stopped by one more family members home to share the news! We enjoyed sitting and chatting with my Aunt Shelly and Uncle Johnny. I love how you can tell your engagement story to a hundred people and I still get excited to share the details! We were excited to share our story with them and they told us about their wedding too. They got married on a Tuesday at a small chapel in Denton. Yes! A Tuesday! It was the only day available for another year and my aunt really wanted to get married in that chapel. As most couples do, they both said they didn’t remember much of it. I was really young when they got married and don’t remember the wedding but I do remember playing house as a little girl and I was the beautiful bride Shelly and Russell, a cousin my same age, was uncle Johnny the groom! Even as young kids we dream of love and marriage! (Russell I wont tell anyone! I promise!)

The day was filled with love and sharing. Even though we were telling everyone about our engagement, I think we enjoyed hearing their stories even more. It was a great way to start our wedding planning with the reminder that it is just one day and at the end of it we will be married. I hope that we too, can one day tell our grandchildren and nieces about the wonderful day we got married, the things that went wrong and how most of the day was a blur but that marriage is a true blessing and we are grateful for each other and the life we have shared.

Wedding Planning is Scary

In light that Halloween is just around the corner, I was inspired to share
how wedding planning can be scary with a fun short story! 

Boy meets girl. They fall in love. Boy gets on one knee and presents Girl with a blue box. As she opens the box, Boy ask Girl to marry him. Fighting back tears, she says Yes! Boy and Girl can't wait to tell friends and family about their engagement. Boy and Girl are about to embark on the scariest experience of their lives, planning a wedding.

The Girl turns into a Bride. The Bride's terror begins with a checklist that never ends. Excitement quickly turns to Anxiety. She will be bombarded with decisions. What kind of Dress? How Many Bridesmaids? Where is your Venue? What are your Colors? Pink or Peach? Before she conquers even a few items on the ever growing to do list, she will need a Therapist.

The Boy turns into a Groom. The news brings terror to his friends. After he endures endless hours of horror stories the wedding aisle doesn't look so sweet. Trick or Treat he wonders? He hears the frighting screams about sex ending after marriage and how possessive a wife becomes. He now comes home to Bridezilla who is stressed and angry. Before he has time to think, he wants to put the blue box back on the shelf.

Bride and Groom will try to enjoy the events surrounding the wedding. Having dealt with fighting relatives, broken contracts, frazzled bridesmaids, and growing budgets, it is no wonder that couples are so frightened while planning their wedding.

Some feel like calling it quits. Others secretly wish they could elope. And others just keep it all bottled up inside. Weddings are Frightening! Weddings can be good, bad and down right Scary! So Brides, resist the inner Bridezilla and Grooms, keep your Prince Charming costume on!

After the Proposal

We are now officially engaged. Is it weird that things really do not feel any different? I am thrilled and overjoyed but no real change. I am not sure what I was expecting. (Ok, I know what your thinking - get over all your expectations! - Don't worry, I am in the same boat with you and am ready to get off too.) Bride overboard!

I asked Clayton if he felt any change and he said "No, I always knew we were going to get married. I love you so much" You will find that during this process Clayton is no help. None. When asked questions, he only gives responses that girls dream of hearing. Some days I wonder how I got so lucky and others I wish he would give me a down and dirty answer, not poetry! I guess I can't complain.

So the journey begins. My first thought? Are any of you World War II fans? If you are, you have probably seen the movie Band of Brothers. This movie would not be one that I choose to curl up and go to sleep to but Clayton is a huge WWII history buff therefore I am forced to watch movies such as this one.

Why is this my first thought of wedding planning you ask? No, not because planning a wedding can feel like a war zone (although this has crossed my mind and I feel I have had to dodge a few bullets!) but my first thought is I have to start running ‘3 miles up and 3 miles’ down. This was part of the soldiers daily activity - 3 miles up for dinner and 3 miles down to return. My wedding dress flashes before my eyes as I frantically search for my running shoes!

My second thought is how are we going to pay for this wedding. The economy has affected both mine and Clayton's job industries as well as our parents. This may sound ironic but I did not realize all the stress that comes with getting married. Of course I know that there is stress during the planning - my job is to assist in the ease of that stress but this is different. This is personal. This is my family drama, my guest list and my budget. These are issues I typically am not deeply involved in or emotionally connected to.

Jumping into my own wedding planning I am honestly taken back by how difficult it has been up to this point. I have whole heartily confirmed I would much rather help a bride plan her wedding that deal with the stress and drama and budget of my own. When I meet with brides I often ask them what their "wish list" is and what they want for their wedding. Most brides say things like beautiful peonies, lots of candlelight, chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, mouthwatering food and for my guests to have a blast. My wish list is slightly different:

I wish this process could be more joyful. I wish we did not have to watch our savings drift away on one single day. I wish the stress and pressure would go away. I wish the expectations were not so high. I wish my parents were more supportive. I just want to marry the man I love and start our life together.

Now don't get me wrong, I am just like every other bride in that I have the wishes of a beautiful and meaningful day. I am just coming from a different view point so planning my wedding instead of others has been an eye opening experience!

Now off to the war zone! I mean planning zone! Cheers!

The Bling: Part Two

Ring shopping started off as a disaster but it does have a sweet ending. After we left the last store, Clayton and I discussed our goals for ring shopping because after I fell in love with a completely different ring than we started looking for, it threw him for a loop.

Clayton said that he loved the cathedral setting and always envisioned his wife wearing a classic solitaire in a cathedral style. Being an architect, Clayton also had a sentimental value of choosing the cathedral setting. He told me that in the early centuries when they were building churches they had to build a support system to support the elaborate high ceilings they had created for the cathedrals. They couldn’t build high enough to reach the top so they created buttresses (or in more simple terms, bars) so that it could hold the cathedral walls to support the high ceiling. The buttresses hold the same purpose for the diamond, to hold and support, just like the beautiful cathedrals built centuries ago.

He expressed that he loved the setting because of what it meant to him as an architect and that he would love and support me just like the buttresses. I fell in love with him all over again with his explanation of the cathedral setting. I completely forgot about the other setting I loved and I couldn’t wait to wear my cathedral ring and be reminded daily of the passion he has for me and his love for architecture.

After ring shopping at a total of five stores we were ready to purchase a ring and be done. The experiences I had at each store were very different. I have to come back to my initial disappointment though. When I thought of ring shopping I envisioned angels singing, personal attention, champagne and feeling like a princess surrounded by diamonds. This is not the diamond experience I had at all. I guess ‘hollywood’ set me up for disappointment because I walked into each store with the mindset that I was Julia Roberts shopping on Rodeo Drive (the second round!) or Sweet Home Alabama when Patrick Dempsey says “pick one” and all the lights come on and diamonds are everywhere just glowing awaiting her to pick one! If I ever decide to go into the diamond business I would make some serious improvements in this field or somehow attempt to prepare men and woman what to expect.

One lesson I have learned as a wedding planner and was reminded during the ring shopping process is to manage your expectations. I have seen so many woman disappointed either during their planning or on their wedding day. They either don’t like their bouquet or the groom isn’t involved the way she anticipated. It was a great reminder early on in this process to not be set up for failure due to some fairy tale expectation. Stay present in the moment and try to enjoy them!

Side note to diamond sellers: Have a nice waiting area that is not only male friendly but female friendly too. I am one of the biggest football fans you will meet (go Minnesota Vikings!) but I have no intention of reading Sports Illustrated or GQ magazine. Make the woman feel special. She has dreamed of this moment for longer than she can remember. Have ring settings that fit the woman trying them on. I am more likely to buy something when I can see the whole picture. I can’t visualize it on my hand if the setting barely fits on my pinky and the prongs are set for a five carat diamond. Just a thought.

Before we made a purchase there was still one more place I wanted to go. I had a gut feeling we would find what we were looking for here and I should have gone with my gut and skipped all the other shopping! I was so anxious the night before my final ring appointment. I knew this was the end of the ring shopping journey. I was relieved.

I got up early and was ready to go. I was going solo today. Clayton said he trusted me to make the final decision and he was tired of shopping. I was supposed to meet my friend Connie who recommended the jeweler to me at 9AM at my office. She was running a little late and minutes felt like hours. I couldn’t wait to get the store. Connie and I drove to Market Center and arrived to chaos. Market was formally in session and there were people everywhere. We had to park over a mile away and we took a bus to get to the building. Any other day this would have been no big deal but when you can’t wait to get somewhere, especially to see diamonds, taking a long detour on a bus just makes you more anxious!

Janice, the jeweler, came to meet us and we went up a few flights of escalators and finally were at her showroom. She asked me if I wanted to look around but I politely said no. Clayton and I had already agreed to get the solitaire in a cathedral setting and there was no reason for me to continue looking for a different one. She sat me down and she pulled out the loose stones. I love this part! All the stones are in the little pieces of paper. It seems so odd that something so valuable is kept in a small piece of paper. I have found that odd this entire process. Janice was very educational. I thought I was already pretty educated. I have been to 6 diamond locations and knew exactly what I wanted. However she showed me even more techniques to look at the diamonds and how to see good ones and how to determine what I liked. I am once again reminded of how dreadful the diamond industry is and how easily excited and overwhelmed young men must been when shopping for this significant piece of jewelry. I truly believe that knowledge is power and that is including diamonds.

Janice pulled a few stones from the description I gave her. Two of them I really liked and they were beautiful. After much back and forth I finally made a choice. I love the diamond. It’s the perfect size, it has great color and the clarity is clear with just a slight inclusion. You might think having an inclusion is a bad thing but mine is on the side of the stone and I like that is identifies my diamond. I know that when I look at it I will know where that mark is and be sure that its mine.

After my ring shopping experience I have learned what I love and don’t love about diamonds. I like a higher quality of color. The slightest hint of yellow turns my eye away. I like clean diamonds. Meaning when you look at the diamond through the magnifying glass there are no black spots and there are no cracks. You can see that is clear all the way through. I have learned so much during this process. I learned that diamonds are a lot like people. Their ‘stats’ don’t necessarily define who they are. Like a quarter back who can throw the football better than anyone in the state of Texas and can lead a team with presence on the field that is irreplaceable, but because he is not 6’3, a college scout doesn’t look twice at him. Diamonds can be very similar. Their ‘stats’ of cut, clarity and color may not be ideal but some stones are worth taking a second look at.

I was really excited to tell people about my ring but I also didn’t want to go overboard because he officially had not proposed yet. I called my sister and mom and they were both excited for me. You know the rest of the story. Clayton proposed and I said yes! So here is the Bling!

The Bling

Clayton and I are thrilled about getting married, but the wedding planning has been another story. For the past three months we have been on a roller coaster of emotions. On some days, planning the wedding actually feels like torture, self inflicted pain that is undesirable and yet somehow necessary. Here is a sneak peak into the chronicle of our quest with my unique prospective of being a wedding planner thrown in the mix. We hope it is entertaining to people other than ourselves and that we don’t end up eloping or killing each other in the process.

Over the next few days I will be catching you up on our planning details up to this point. From the process of picking out my engagement ring to where we stand with wedding plans right now and the many more experiences to come in the days ahead. Let’s start with one of my favorite parts, the Bling!

Clayton asked if I wanted to participate in the finding my engagement ring and I was ecstatic! I couldn't wait to get my manicure and go! We scheduled a few appointments based on referrals from brides and I felt like a child waking up on Christmas morning when the day came to go ring shopping!

On our way to the ring shop, Clayton and I got in an argument over how to negotiate with the ring vendor and our different purchasing strategy. (Stupid. I know.) This was a day I had waited for my entire life. A day I dreamed about and had set expectations of for years. Today was not turning out to be the day I had envisioned. The tears start to flow. I can physically feel the pain of my expectation and dream of this day suddenly being taken from me. Ok, so maybe that sounds a little dramatic but it’s true. I was devastated.

We arrive at our first appointment and I immediately go to the bathroom to try and pull myself together after our fight on the way over. My feelings quickly turned when I came out of the restroom and saw Clayton standing there. I sat down next to him and he asked ‘do you need a hug’ and I did. He hugged me and told me he loved me and that I had the biggest heart in the world and he couldn’t imagine life without me. At that moment I felt calm again and remembered why were at this store in the first place.

The appointment was at a residential home office. Everything is very causal. Concrete floors, photos on the wall, two black labs lounging on the only couch. I sat in cold metal chair. This really wasn't what I was expecting. Where was the movie star treatment? There was no warm welcome, no champagne, no leading me to the most beautiful counter with diamonds galore to choose from. Nope. Not even close. Me and my newly manicured nails were slightly disappointed.

We did however enjoy meeting with the sales rep and learning about diamonds. We left the store feeling more educated and we really liked the sales rep, an over the top gay man who really seemed to know his stuff. We headed to our second appointment. We got to the store and it was a totally different setting. It was a traditional jewelry store setup. We came in and they showed us about eight cases of different settings.

I thought I knew what I wanted. I have always envisioned wearing a beautiful round solitaire in a traditional setting with a wedding band of diamonds. However my eye kept being drawn to this one ring and I asked to try it on. The jeweler brought out what I call ‘the one’. I put it on and loved it! It was completely different than anything I thought I would ever buy or even want. But it was gorgeous! Clayton didn’t really seem to like it so I took it off and continued my search with the solitaires. I put back on ‘the one’ and I couldn’t help it. I looked down at my finger and began to cry. It was so beautiful. Clayton quickly put his arms around me and asked me what was wrong. I think it was a combination of the day. It started off as a terrible experience and was ending with a ring I never thought I would even like.

We still had a few more appointments the following week so we left the story empty handed. When we got in the car Clayton told me he thought the ring I loved was ugly. I thought it was amazing and couldn’t imagine wearing anything that was better to symbolize our love and commitment for each other. Clayton has always told me that when he proposed that I would be wearing ‘his’ ring. I really want him to like ‘his’ ring but I am the one that has to wear it every day. Shouldn’t I be the one to be in love with it?

The long day ended. Whew! Who knew ring shopping could be so exhausting! Even after the long day and all the drama, I was reminded again how much I just want to be with Clayton. A ring is a symbol of eternity, a symbol of love and commitment however it is only a symbol. Ring or no ring, our love stands on a firm foundation, friendship and passion for one another.

If I have learned one lesson about weddings being a wedding planner it’s this, at the end of the day it’s not about the ring or the wedding. It is about finding the person you want to share your life with. It is about starting your marriage and new life together. I believe that people who find this are truly fortunate as it is rare to see two people fall in love and spend their entire lives together. I feel lucky to know I get the opportunity to spend eternity with Clayton and that is all that really matters.

Tomorrow I will finish my short novel on our ring shopping and share some photos!

The Explanation

"Wedding Daze"

Day 2: She knew He was the One

Day 7: He told me He Loved Me

Day 3,650: He asked Me to Marry Him

Day 3,834: We Are Getting Married

For those of you who are not math savvy, 3,650 days is ten years later.

Yes, a decade later we are finally tying the knot!  

Day 2: I knew He was the One

Clayton is amazing. He is my best friend. He is one of those guys that you just can’t help but love to be around. Did I mention that he has a smile and dimples that could break any girl’s heart? I love his passion and his drive. He is a very talented Architect, sports enthusiast, and always puts me first. His faith and love for family are his foundation. We are both fortunate to love our jobs and we love to smile everyday!

You might be asking, why ten years? Why wait so long? I am not exactly sure why he waited so long, bu I have my theories of course! It has been the roller coaster ride of lifetime. I honestly feel we are smarter, stronger, and appreciate each other more now than we would have if we had gotten married from day one. I can’t say it has been easy and it certainly wasn’t painless but our love has endured and we always come back to each other.

Day 7: He Told Me He Loved Me

Clayton is two years older than I am. After high school he went into the United States Navy to become a Navy Seal. We started dating while he was on leave from the military. Those Summer days and nights were never long enough. One afternoon Clayton decided to make me breakfast. French toast and eggs. To this day he still makes the best breakfast! We were in his mom’s kitchen cooking and laughing and he turned to me and said I love you. Don’t forget that I knew from day two that I wanted to spend eternity with him so I was quick to tell him I loved him back.

Day 3,650: He asked Me to Marry Him

It is hard to surprise a girl that you have been dating for ten years and knows that you bought a ring. Clayton tried to surprise me a few times and finally on what he calls “plan D” he proposed.

Clayton had made me believe that he did not have my ring yet. He picked me up from work on my birthday and sincerely apologized that I would not be getting my ring this week. He even brought me to tears with his apology. We had decided to go eat at my favorite Mexican food restaurant in Ft. Worth for dinner. As we are driving in the wrong direction to the restaurant, he pulls into the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens.

He is texting and is on the phone and by now I know something is up. We drive around a few times to find a parking space and get out at the large rose garden. He grabs the cupcakes that he brought with us and we head down the beautiful stairs that lead to the lawn that we often picnic at. Instead he leads me to a bench and we sit. At this point I get a little nervous. I think he might ask me here. His hand was shaking a little and it was just an awkward situation. We finally got up and started walking around the gardens. We saw Josh and Cassandra, Clayton's brother and sister in law, and their baby walk up. My first thought was they were here to document the proposal but they had the baby so it quickly went to well maybe they are just here for cupcakes and dinner. We all walked over to an area by the water. Cassandra had brought a lovely picnic blanket and she laid it down and we got out the cupcakes.

Clayton lights a candle and placed it on a pink cupcake. Everyone sang happy birthday and then Clayton wanted to take pictures. At this point I knew what was happening. Clayton never wanted to take pictures! We took a couple of photos and then he got down on one knee.

Everyone always says they do not remember the next part of where he actually proposes. I unfortunately do not either. I heard "you have been a blessing for the past ten years….and it would be an honor if you would marry me." I just nodded. I didn’t even say yes. He grabbed my right hand and I quickly gave him my left! He put the ring on my finger and I kissed him. It was a surreal moment.
On our way home from dinner my mom called. I think she knew before I even picked up the phone. I told her that we were engaged and she said she was happy for us and she figured he might do it tonight. She handed the phone over to my Dad. I said, Clayton and I are engaged! He said “I wondered if you would say yes or no.” “I said yes” with a giggle. While I was talking to my dad, all I could picture was the little girl on the Father of the Bride movie saying "daddy we getting married." It was a great start to our engagement and the next step of planning the wedding!

Day 3,850: We Are Getting Married

So here is our story. My wedding daze. The journey about experiencing ‘wedding daze’ and documenting ‘the days’ leading up to our wedding. I hope you enjoy the ride with us!

Welcome to Wedding Daze!

As wedding planners we have a fun job that can at times be extremely difficult and also very interesting. On top of our daily craziness, there are three of us at the Bride Associates office that are getting married! My wedding planning journey so far has been a roller coaster ride. In an attempt to relieve some of my amazing staff and friends from having to deal with probably the worst bride ever (yes! I admit it) and in an effort to share the wedding details with my brides, friends and family I have started a blog.

Wedding Daze is a blog about a wedding planner’s journey as a bride. Join me and a few of the other Bride Associates wedding planners as we venture into the ever glamorous, extremely important, detail oriented process of planning ‘the big day’ all while attempting to maintain our sanity, have a blast and marry the man of dreams!