After the Proposal

We are now officially engaged. Is it weird that things really do not feel any different? I am thrilled and overjoyed but no real change. I am not sure what I was expecting. (Ok, I know what your thinking - get over all your expectations! - Don't worry, I am in the same boat with you and am ready to get off too.) Bride overboard!

I asked Clayton if he felt any change and he said "No, I always knew we were going to get married. I love you so much" You will find that during this process Clayton is no help. None. When asked questions, he only gives responses that girls dream of hearing. Some days I wonder how I got so lucky and others I wish he would give me a down and dirty answer, not poetry! I guess I can't complain.

So the journey begins. My first thought? Are any of you World War II fans? If you are, you have probably seen the movie Band of Brothers. This movie would not be one that I choose to curl up and go to sleep to but Clayton is a huge WWII history buff therefore I am forced to watch movies such as this one.

Why is this my first thought of wedding planning you ask? No, not because planning a wedding can feel like a war zone (although this has crossed my mind and I feel I have had to dodge a few bullets!) but my first thought is I have to start running ‘3 miles up and 3 miles’ down. This was part of the soldiers daily activity - 3 miles up for dinner and 3 miles down to return. My wedding dress flashes before my eyes as I frantically search for my running shoes!

My second thought is how are we going to pay for this wedding. The economy has affected both mine and Clayton's job industries as well as our parents. This may sound ironic but I did not realize all the stress that comes with getting married. Of course I know that there is stress during the planning - my job is to assist in the ease of that stress but this is different. This is personal. This is my family drama, my guest list and my budget. These are issues I typically am not deeply involved in or emotionally connected to.

Jumping into my own wedding planning I am honestly taken back by how difficult it has been up to this point. I have whole heartily confirmed I would much rather help a bride plan her wedding that deal with the stress and drama and budget of my own. When I meet with brides I often ask them what their "wish list" is and what they want for their wedding. Most brides say things like beautiful peonies, lots of candlelight, chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, mouthwatering food and for my guests to have a blast. My wish list is slightly different:

I wish this process could be more joyful. I wish we did not have to watch our savings drift away on one single day. I wish the stress and pressure would go away. I wish the expectations were not so high. I wish my parents were more supportive. I just want to marry the man I love and start our life together.

Now don't get me wrong, I am just like every other bride in that I have the wishes of a beautiful and meaningful day. I am just coming from a different view point so planning my wedding instead of others has been an eye opening experience!

Now off to the war zone! I mean planning zone! Cheers!