The Bling

Clayton and I are thrilled about getting married, but the wedding planning has been another story. For the past three months we have been on a roller coaster of emotions. On some days, planning the wedding actually feels like torture, self inflicted pain that is undesirable and yet somehow necessary. Here is a sneak peak into the chronicle of our quest with my unique prospective of being a wedding planner thrown in the mix. We hope it is entertaining to people other than ourselves and that we don’t end up eloping or killing each other in the process.

Over the next few days I will be catching you up on our planning details up to this point. From the process of picking out my engagement ring to where we stand with wedding plans right now and the many more experiences to come in the days ahead. Let’s start with one of my favorite parts, the Bling!

Clayton asked if I wanted to participate in the finding my engagement ring and I was ecstatic! I couldn't wait to get my manicure and go! We scheduled a few appointments based on referrals from brides and I felt like a child waking up on Christmas morning when the day came to go ring shopping!

On our way to the ring shop, Clayton and I got in an argument over how to negotiate with the ring vendor and our different purchasing strategy. (Stupid. I know.) This was a day I had waited for my entire life. A day I dreamed about and had set expectations of for years. Today was not turning out to be the day I had envisioned. The tears start to flow. I can physically feel the pain of my expectation and dream of this day suddenly being taken from me. Ok, so maybe that sounds a little dramatic but it’s true. I was devastated.

We arrive at our first appointment and I immediately go to the bathroom to try and pull myself together after our fight on the way over. My feelings quickly turned when I came out of the restroom and saw Clayton standing there. I sat down next to him and he asked ‘do you need a hug’ and I did. He hugged me and told me he loved me and that I had the biggest heart in the world and he couldn’t imagine life without me. At that moment I felt calm again and remembered why were at this store in the first place.

The appointment was at a residential home office. Everything is very causal. Concrete floors, photos on the wall, two black labs lounging on the only couch. I sat in cold metal chair. This really wasn't what I was expecting. Where was the movie star treatment? There was no warm welcome, no champagne, no leading me to the most beautiful counter with diamonds galore to choose from. Nope. Not even close. Me and my newly manicured nails were slightly disappointed.

We did however enjoy meeting with the sales rep and learning about diamonds. We left the store feeling more educated and we really liked the sales rep, an over the top gay man who really seemed to know his stuff. We headed to our second appointment. We got to the store and it was a totally different setting. It was a traditional jewelry store setup. We came in and they showed us about eight cases of different settings.

I thought I knew what I wanted. I have always envisioned wearing a beautiful round solitaire in a traditional setting with a wedding band of diamonds. However my eye kept being drawn to this one ring and I asked to try it on. The jeweler brought out what I call ‘the one’. I put it on and loved it! It was completely different than anything I thought I would ever buy or even want. But it was gorgeous! Clayton didn’t really seem to like it so I took it off and continued my search with the solitaires. I put back on ‘the one’ and I couldn’t help it. I looked down at my finger and began to cry. It was so beautiful. Clayton quickly put his arms around me and asked me what was wrong. I think it was a combination of the day. It started off as a terrible experience and was ending with a ring I never thought I would even like.

We still had a few more appointments the following week so we left the story empty handed. When we got in the car Clayton told me he thought the ring I loved was ugly. I thought it was amazing and couldn’t imagine wearing anything that was better to symbolize our love and commitment for each other. Clayton has always told me that when he proposed that I would be wearing ‘his’ ring. I really want him to like ‘his’ ring but I am the one that has to wear it every day. Shouldn’t I be the one to be in love with it?

The long day ended. Whew! Who knew ring shopping could be so exhausting! Even after the long day and all the drama, I was reminded again how much I just want to be with Clayton. A ring is a symbol of eternity, a symbol of love and commitment however it is only a symbol. Ring or no ring, our love stands on a firm foundation, friendship and passion for one another.

If I have learned one lesson about weddings being a wedding planner it’s this, at the end of the day it’s not about the ring or the wedding. It is about finding the person you want to share your life with. It is about starting your marriage and new life together. I believe that people who find this are truly fortunate as it is rare to see two people fall in love and spend their entire lives together. I feel lucky to know I get the opportunity to spend eternity with Clayton and that is all that really matters.

Tomorrow I will finish my short novel on our ring shopping and share some photos!